The fear of age lining in families

Why does people always target someone who's in capable of defending themselves. Why is the whole so selfish? Why do people choose the second child over the first? Does the oldest child need to commit suicide just to prove their family wrong?
Call the doctor when you're sick, physically hurt. But not mentally hurt.
Is there a problem of being alive?
I've seen enough news. Students commit suicide because of the fear of exams, pressure from surrounding, family members and so on. People running away from homes. Can't you see, the pressure and selfishness has cause all this problems. Do you think that a child will be all okay just because you love the second but not the first? It's not fair for the first child. I have been surviving with the concept of single parented. And now you want me to get your concept of "the first child is a burden, the others is heaven"??
How pathetic, the fact that they always say that" the oldest need to respect the younger " but do you know, your" beloved" 10 years old grandchild loves swearing and pushing all her problems to me. Making me the black sheep? Oh it's been 8-9 years since she came here for "babysitting " and how much I just want to slit myself to sleep. Do you think this is fair? All those years, I've been telling the truth, and no one trusted me. The fact that I can't tell my dad because of personal reasons... But from all the things that I've remembered, I'm always the monster of this family. My friends always going around saying that their family only know how to harvest them without giving you any family feelings, but I don't wanna say out my problems. But not I just cant contain it anymore. The fact that"the longer the suffer, the easier to understand " have make me into the longer it gets, the harder to not understand makes me wanna... Well, end something.
This post was not really supposed to be published as I don't wanna my friends to go around and" pity" me. But I have nothing to post for my assignment. So here you go teacher, this is my I hate long writing, the longer I write the more I express, but not in a good way.