Thinking back to the old days, I've always wonder..... Does friends treat you as their friends.
Yeah, stuff have been happening and stuff.... And I'm sorry for what had happened for this whole time. The thing is, people always say true friends stab you in front rather than your back.
Sometime, not all problems can be kept in your heart for a long time. And today, I want to let it out. Even if I'm going to get scold by them, like they always say. Truth hurts.
I don't want to talk much about others, but I just want to focus on this specific group. Called Craymination group.
My group tend to have special people, those who's smart as heck but they still have humour in them. People who almost every time have a crush on someone(truth!) but seem to be okay with it. And others...
I don't even know how or what to start with. Well.... One way or another. (I'm going to name by a short name so yeah) Nora, you're always the one who's determine, but we all have the same problem, parents. Yes, parents can be stubborn, but think about it. If you're them, and your child is a person who is short tempered, always wants to succeed but sleeps in class. If I were them, I'll be afraid for your future too you know(even we're friends).I'm sorry if I over cared and you dislike it. But I hoped that things will change for the good. Respect and appreciate your parents, you never know when will they be gone. And till then, it's too late.
Dear L, I know, I said this before.
"For what you have said, you look like you want to give yourself up. But it was a vice versa, and you had made people to believe that they failed, helping you. Thus telling them, that because of us, had make you gone. " I won't mind If you use this quote, I won't mind anymore. I always thought that if I help you, you may change. Guess your mother had pushed you to the end. I'm so sorry if I made you mad, including the time when we argued in the group, but that's besides the case now. The thing is, you said you always understand. But do you understand that if the more you ignore your mom's advice, won't your mom do the things that you never wanted? Is it because of what you did in the past, to cause this future? I can debate on this topic, as me myself does not have a mom to even relate to this. Reason that I'm acting differently before the exam week? I'm observing this group, seeing what will happen if I'm not around, despite that the only thing I can do is, make things worst. I never get what do you mean of you're the cause of it. No matter how many times I had made you, Lee and A to be mad at me, I over cared. Guess I always think of others before myself. Other things that you want to know, just ask, even if the question can make us be scared and cry. It's okay.
Lee, yes, my English will never be as good as yours. But it's okay, I'm learning, from you guys. Thanks you for letting me be a part of the group. Even if I'm not as good as you guys.
And I'm sorry for spoiling your book. Really sorry...
T. H, M, and K, just continue to be awesome. Thanks for helping me in my daily confusion towards a subject XD. And never forget on all the ship that you guys have done. It's funny, and I'll accept it, including the ones that you guys joke about on me and the others, I'm not mad. But truth to be told, it's funny.
R, life isn't it? You seems to be the quiet one sometimes. But I hope you can join more in our random chat of the day though, thanks for helping me in my essays, and not laughing about my mistake like the other two.
In this group, I always ask:"will I ever for in in this group? Will I finally be the normal kid? Will my friends just be my friends for that year, and go? I'm always scared, all the jokes, the laughter, I don't think is real anymore. I'm always afraid that I might screw up. I scared I'll lose my actual friends. I'm scared... That I'll be alone....
I have no talent at all, I cannot cycle, don't even start on unicycle. I can't write poets, I can't write fantastic essays that can blow people's minds off. I can't understand maths in one go. I can't even draw. But you guys can, and you appreciate it. And I'm here, trying to find my talent. Even if it takes off my life.
But all things come to an end, I just hoped that all things can come to a good turn for you guys, and me.
https://soundcloud.com/adham-safena-1/the-ghost-song